Re: Your Comments
Lessons I’ve learnt, resolutions for 2020
I also answered some Instagram questions earlier this year.
Over drinks a few nights ago, a new friend (and I say new purposely) commented that I seemed like the type of person who’d avoid people on the street even if I knew them. I laughed. On one hand, it was oddly comforting that they felt open telling me their first impressions of me; or maybe they just had no filter. On the other hand, it made me go: My face says that?
And, yes, I am that person. Not because I don’t like you, I just sometimes find it difficult to transition from “alone” me to “friend” me on cue. Also, I have myopia and I don’t always wear my glasses, so sometimes it’s not that I’m not acknowledging you; I just didn’t see you! Anyway, it got me thinking: What else have you commented about me/my writing on social media or in person? And if not for the sake of personal growth and 2020 resolutions then for fun, I wanted to hit reply to some of them.
“You’re so different online than in-person.”
When I started blogging, I was adamant about making it about quality over myself. That’s one of the reasons why I pivoted towards interviewing Instagram personalities. It was only when I started making friends I’d first met online that I realised I potentially appear differently online than off.
One that shocked me was that I apparently come off very masculine online? Depending on who I spoke to, I also got conflicting feedback: either that I was more expressive or more reserved in-person. Some have also said I seem much older than I am, and surprised that I like fashion (I get it, my style is nonexistent), and that I look fierce? (I’m really not.)
I think it’s because I’m in a different headspace writing than I am in social settings. I’m myself both online and off, and ever-evolving, and don’t necessarily identify with one self more than the other.
“How do you know so many people?”
I don’t. While 99.9% of my interviews have been done in-person, most of these people have never even heard of me before I reached out to them. I’m happy to have found friendships through some conversations, though statistically most have remained acquaintances, some whom I’ve even mustered the courage to reply to their Instagram stories with a flood of emojis and the occasional “HAHAHA”.
A friend was asking me recently if I feel emotionally drained blogging. Over the past year-plus (I’ve done the math), I’ve been consistently meeting an average of 1.25 NEW people per week. It definitely takes practice and, yes, it’s not always possible to build immediate rapport, but I’ve slowly improved on finding common ground quick and am always trying to learn (which helps keeping me open-minded).
“You should write more opinion pieces.”
I only recently discovered my hypothesis on opinion pieces is a lie. I somehow thought you would only interact with stories ABOUT other people. Little did I know my reactions to the anti-China Chinese “fitspo” influencer, the “privileged” Malay writer on Rice Media and Preetipls’ comments on activism and influencership would make more noise than I expected.
Goal for 2020: more opinion pieces, and NOT about specific people.
“What do you want to do with this?”
I’m so grateful to have had conversations with some super duper smart people at different stages of their creative, entrepreneurial successes. From designers who want to start their fashion brands to photographers who want to set up studios and musicians who’re inventing their own stages to perform on.
And I also strongly believe in the saying, “You’re the average of the five people you hang around most”. So I’m definitely thinking about starting my own media company at some point, but I’m still a ways from it. Right now I just want to continue experimenting/ideating fluidly.
“You should create more audio/visual content.”
Tried it. Failed. May try again later. Perhaps with IG stories first.
My 2020 resolution.
I’m not one to make resolutions, but just to write a story about it, I came up with the word “Wellness”. It’s a fluffy one, but not without reason. Looking back on the blog only recently, I feel like I haven’t dedicated enough time to enjoy the process behind making some of the stories happen. When I read back on some of the interview ones, I can’t even remember how the actual conversations went!
So I’m hoping to take 2020 to make the blog more an extension of me rather than a display of my hard work. Also, I want to spend more time and energy on my mental, physical health. No details yet until I’ve made progress on them.
