Transgender talk
Help me understand.
I’ve never liked my boobs, being called a girl. Every birthday, my wish was to wake up a guy. Before puberty hit, I started binding. When I realised I was trans, thought, “This is so much worse, more permanent.”
According to research, the brains of transgender people are closer to the brains of the sex they identify with. I’ve a male brain in a female body.
Imagine being castrated against your will. That’s kind of how I feel when I look at my parts. They don’t belong. I want to “kill” my boobs.
I’m also a singer. I want my career as much I want to be comfortable. Top surgery without hormones is my compromise.
You’re genderqueer.
Physically I’m a trans man. Personality-wise, I don’t identify as either binary of being masculine or feminine.
Sex vs gender vs sexuality.
Took me a long time to differentiate. A lot of my past was trying to act masculine to make up for the fact that I wasn’t physically a man. Initially erased my attraction to men because I didn’t think there could be an in-between.
- Sex: Male, female, or intersex.
- Gender: Masculine or feminine.
- Sexuality: Straight, gay, bisexual/pansexual, or asexual.
You’re pansexual.
My sexual attraction isn’t based on gender. I don’t really care about the physical aspects of people when dating.
• Bisexual: atteaction to more than 1 gender
• Pansexual: attraction regardless of gender identity
Dating.
I can’t date straight people. They’re lesbian, gay apps. But I’m neither. Those apps tend to be genital-centered. On Tinder, do I put my gender as a guy or girl? If I put girl and I want to match guys, I’ll just get straight guys. Vice versa. “You don’t have a dick.” “You have a vagina, but you don’t want me to touch it.”
“They.”
It makes me feel comfortable because I don’t have to fit in. It makes sense grammatically.
Why “go-fund-me?”
I decided to transition this year. WHO just removed transgenderism as a mental disorder, it’s classified as gender identity. In Singapore, you need a doctor’s letter. They just opened a gender clinic, but it’s under-equipped; gender is not their expertise. My experience has been me teaching them then vice versa.
Found a hospital in Thailand that performs my surgery, periareolar. Also doesn’t require a consent form. Surgeon is world renowned, speaks English. I feel safe.
I want to raise $8K. Total cost is $12 to 15K. Have some savings.
It’s been heartwarming. Didn’t expect to raise $2000 in 2 weeks.
May have to move out of my house. I’m not out to my grandma.
Do you like “guy” things?
I like dolls. I also like fixing things.
I used to be an “Ah Beng.” The most toxic form of masculinity. Skirts, brows? Ew! I have a whole leg sleeve of Pokémon tattoos. *laughs*
#Pinkdot11.
It’s still segregated. Not a lot of networking happens.
It’s heartwarming people take time to support a cause that we didn’t sign up for but we’re in because we were born this way.
